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"The best way to avoid this is to avoid you"

I've put more thought into what you said.
Avoiding the problem as usual.
You can't just stand up and face it for once can you?
Why are you denying everything?

If we keep becoming more than friends every time we try to just be friends then isn't that a sign as any?
Apparently not.

But if you'd rather avoid me and run then fine.
Don't come back.
If this is the choice you really want to make, then don't ever come back.

I don't know who you are if you do that though.
You're not Connor.
If you'd rather leave than deal with this, who have you become?

Or maybe I've been wrong all along and had this warped image of you.
Maybe you're not the person I've looked up to for so long.

I don't even know what the ******** problem is.
I saw you last summer and we weren't dating, you didn't have a problem.
No, there's got to be more to it this time. There has to be.

Friends aren't people who would ******** each other and cuddle each other to sleep and give each other so many kisses.
No.
That's not friendship Connor.
We've never just been friends.
You know that as much as I do.

What's your problem this time?
Why do you keep hiding things from me constantly.

but you know what?
just ******** run away.
Because even if you did have any sort of feelings for me, you wouldn't ******** run away.
You'd ******** fight for me.
Perhaps it has been as I've feared all along, just me being head over heels for you with you not feeling the same.

What do you even think of me?
I'm not going to be some whore you ******** whenever you want. Some whore who's just there whenever you need someone to talk to. I'm not going to shut myself off from every guy just to not have you committed to me.
No.
No way in hell.

So easily you ran.
That's the sad part.
And you're leaving exactly when I need you most.

Connor, I don't have a living grandfather anymore.
Do you know how it feels to have lost not one, but two loved ones - not even a year apart?
I didn't even get to see him before he died. The last time I saw him was Christmas. You have no ******** idea how much I regret not seeing him more.
And seeing his body, I have no idea how I'm going to cope with this.

I guess if you leave that's another loved one gone.

But I won't make you stay.
If you leave, I'm not chasing you.
Not again.
And I won't let you back.
I hope you realize that.
This is it, you're either with me, or gone.
I can't handle this not knowing what exactly we are.
I've tried and its done nothing but ******** me up in the head.

So you can either run away like always and lose someone who's been in your life for years and has been there with you through thick and thin.
Or you can stay and explain to me what the goddamn ******** your problem is with relationships.

And if you do leave.
Please at least say goodbye.
Its not fair if you just walk out without saying anything.
Maybe it would be better...But it just doesn't seem right..