I feel lonely lately.
And unsatisfied with almost everything.
Brittney and I are...Well..Hardly talking.
I wouldn't even say I have a best friend anymore haha.
Connor makes it seem like he doesnt even want to make an effort to see me.
"I don't know when you could come down here."
yeah like its really hard to find out, right?
Upsets me because he's always saying how he wants me there but doesn't make an effort to let me come down there.
My relationship with him feels so rocky lately.
I'll be happy with it when I talk to him, but when I don't I just hate it honestly.
I'm jealous of Kait and Luis.
I feel like Connor and I could make it work better if we lived closer.
But then again, I don't know.
I feel so hateful towards most of my relationships lately.
Mad that Brittney's off doing her own s**t.
Mad that Connor is so difficult and wishy washy.
Mad that AV just kinda bailed out.
Honestly, I just want to move away and start new.
Leave most of the people I once cared about in the past and make new relationships.
A new environment.
A new slate.
Breath of fresh air.
Connor says he loves me.
But what am I supposed to believe when you don't make an effort to even see when I could come visit?
Are we dating?
Or just saying we love each other?
Brittney only really talked to me when I threatened to leave.
Come to think of it they both only really want me when I'm gone.
I feel so strange being so unhappy with the people I once cherished most.
Its like its not enough anymore.
I wonder if this is just some stage I'm going through.
I need physical love now.
I need to know people want me there and need me.
I need to be able to see and read faces.
What I had before isn't enough now.
I need them here.
I'm lost all over again.
What the ******** do I even want from life anymore?
My belief in you has plummeted.
I wanted you to say you love me, and now you have.
But I still don't feel like its enough.
What the hell is wrong with me.
And unsatisfied with almost everything.
Brittney and I are...Well..Hardly talking.
I wouldn't even say I have a best friend anymore haha.
Connor makes it seem like he doesnt even want to make an effort to see me.
"I don't know when you could come down here."
yeah like its really hard to find out, right?
Upsets me because he's always saying how he wants me there but doesn't make an effort to let me come down there.
My relationship with him feels so rocky lately.
I'll be happy with it when I talk to him, but when I don't I just hate it honestly.
I'm jealous of Kait and Luis.
I feel like Connor and I could make it work better if we lived closer.
But then again, I don't know.
I feel so hateful towards most of my relationships lately.
Mad that Brittney's off doing her own s**t.
Mad that Connor is so difficult and wishy washy.
Mad that AV just kinda bailed out.
Honestly, I just want to move away and start new.
Leave most of the people I once cared about in the past and make new relationships.
A new environment.
A new slate.
Breath of fresh air.
Connor says he loves me.
But what am I supposed to believe when you don't make an effort to even see when I could come visit?
Are we dating?
Or just saying we love each other?
Brittney only really talked to me when I threatened to leave.
Come to think of it they both only really want me when I'm gone.
I feel so strange being so unhappy with the people I once cherished most.
Its like its not enough anymore.
I wonder if this is just some stage I'm going through.
I need physical love now.
I need to know people want me there and need me.
I need to be able to see and read faces.
What I had before isn't enough now.
I need them here.
I'm lost all over again.
What the ******** do I even want from life anymore?
My belief in you has plummeted.
I wanted you to say you love me, and now you have.
But I still don't feel like its enough.
What the hell is wrong with me.
