So today was the birthday of my bf's friend that had passed away. I don't know what to think anymore. I wanted to do something to make my bf feel better but I mean what can I do? I don't know what it's like to lose someone you were close to. I don't know how hurt you become. I have this strong aching pain in my heart when he's upset about it. It's not like I can tell him I know how it feels, it's not like I can say everything it fine. I can't do anything other then be there. I feel helpless and I don't like it.
To top it off two of my best friends are fighting, both... it's just too much. It's such a sad day and like I've said before I can feel it. When people around me are hurting, crying, upset, I feel it too, even if I don't know what is going on. I almost cried today.... over nothing.... except for the sheer fact that everyone else was having a shitty day (Pardon my lanuage) I'm almost crying now, which doesn't make any sense!
And the oddest thing happened. When I tried to help my bf feel better, I thought about it deeply, trying to think of something to do or say, and when I thought of it my heart raced faster then anything I've ever felt. There was no reason, I wasn't thinking of how cute he was or anything just how to help him. Why? Why did my heart race at that very moment?
I'm just so confused anymore. This has got to be one of the suckiest days in my life, and nothing really happened to me!
From the little girl who cried wolf
kirangel
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