From last night to this morning, this is the dream/nightmare.
I woke up in a movie theater with myself right next to me. He was wearing all white but his skin was pure flat out white and he black eyes. I just looked normal. Wearing my usual black clothing.
White: Heh. Can't believe we are watching this movie.
I looked at him. I was about to open my mouth but then.
White: *puts a finger to his own mouth* shh... *grins* The movies starting.
With bad projection it came on. It was me and my brother walking home from school. He was 9 and I was 7. I didn't know the way back home so I heavily relied on my brother.
Brother: You know you embarassed me today.
... Oh thats right. I intervene in his fight becuase back then I was tired of the violence.
Me: I'm sorry...
Brother: Is that all you can say, sorry?
It was a tough time. Our mother worked hard and was barely home. My brother was barely home as well, leaveing me to wander our shitty little neighborhood. But even still he was all I had.
Me:....
Brother: grrr. I wish you were never here! This is all your fault... I hope the stranger takes you away. *he runs off*
I tried running after him... But he was soo much faster and stronger than me back then. It was useless. I still tried to keep up with him.
Me: Wait! Come on! I don't know the way home! Don't leave me for the stranger! ***! Please!
I crashed to the ground. I just sat there and looked around for my brother. Nothing happened. I sat there for several hours and no one came. Alone. I looked to the ground and cried. (god... I was soo ******** weak)
White: Heh. Can't believe that was us back then. We are still alone though, but who needs them? We're going to kill them all in the end. And at the end we WILL commit great acts of horror. We will be the scourge of the world. Our names will be in the pages of history. Alas that history will be black...
I said in the movie theater what I was thinking then. In the movie.
Back to regular Me:... I will never, ever, be helpless again...
In the movie. The picture of my 7 year old self crying faded into the black. One of the events that created me today. The end.
Can't wait to die...
 Langendorfer · Fri Feb 08, 2008 @ 01:37am · 0 Comments |
