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Longest entry one I have ever done.
06/02/08
I awoken in the prison known as home. Before arriving in the school I now attend I have been incarcerated within that home for six years. Alone. Everything seemed so real within this dream/nightmare. I was in the same room I once slept in, I looked around, truly the same room. I tried walking back to the bedroom door but then I tripped forward. I looked down at my ankle and found that their was a chain fastened to it. The chain was hooked to a large wheel and around it was the extensions for the chain. I looked up at the window and noticed that not only that it was nailed shut but it was barred as well. I heard footsteps walking down the hall then I heard a series of locks internal and external. The wheel unlocked (must be controlled by remote) allowing me to be able to roam around whatever area it allows me to explore.
Jeremy (my step dad, much better from my biological dad): Time to get up ****** (my name). You know the drill.
Indeed I did. Getting ready for the day meant the usual procedures for any person. Brush teeth, take a shower, etc. Then it’s off to clean, dishes, bathrooms, every nook and cranny within the house. But don’t get the wrong idea that I only do these meager chores for my imprisonment but the strenuous task of finding something to do. There is a reason why I consider this is a prison, for not only being kept inside but for having everything stripped from me. Try drawing. No. Try writing. No. Try doing more work. No. No. No. After having repeated these actions several times with the same result Jeremy finally got frustrated with me and this led to a very violent confrontation. With what limited combat experiences I had from being a individual of my age this only ended with having the victor choking me with my own chain that allowed me limited exploration. Eventually Tammy got home (My mother) and Jeremy exaggerated the truth. He had said I tried killing him with one of his knives and that he had been force to restrain me. This lead to a 5 hour discussion about everything about me, who I am, who I was, my life at school (when I was in school), and what I will only say as “The Incident”. This only lead to more sadness and violence. I was thrown into my room. I heard the locks snap quickly and my wheeled locked. The room was always dark, there was no light bulb, there was nothing to look at regardless. It matched the cold loneliness and anger I felt, barren and endless. It was truly a cell.
Surprisingly this repeated itself within the course of a week. Sure my captor’s moods change over the days but the outcome was always the same. But finally within my loneliness, within my madness, without my consent, it hatched a plan. Early on Sunday morning I engage into my plan that had spawned from my madness. Quietly, I placed my bed in front of the door. Luckily a portion of the wall was close to the door. What then? I waited. Hours later I heard Jeremy walking down the hall, the locks clicked and clacked, and then the wheel unlocked. I heard a groan and then Jeremy vomiting. I quickly pulled on the chain, I kept pulling.
Jeremy: Wake up ****, you know th--- What the ********]
He tried opening the door but the bed blocked it, thank ******** god. He must have known that I was planning something because he locked the wheel again. No matter, I had enough chains to do what I planned. I heard Jeremy call for Tammy. I’m wrapping the chain around my fist. I heard them both trying to smash through the door and then one them retreating. Almost finished, wrapping my fist within the chains. I heard them calling someone on the phone, must be the cops. The cops, heh, they wouldn’t be able to stop me but I have to hurry if I want to keep this as a fact. So I began to punch the window again and again. It broke into shards. I heard the police break in the front door and run to my bedroom door. Quickly unwrapping the chain around my hand (the good hand) I picked up one of the shards of glass. The door splintered with a battering ram I could see one of the S.W.A.T. members heads through the crack of the door. Ha… S.W.A.T.? How hilarious they need that to stop me? I brought the glass shard to my throat and slit my throat… But nothing happened. The door bursts into splinters and the S.W.A.T. Rushes in and surrounds me.
S.W.A.T. Member: Suicide victim…
Confused I turned around to see my body slumped in the corner of my room with broken glass all around me and lying in a pool of blood. I looked at my ankle and saw that there was no longer a chain wrapped around it. I was able to drift through physical objects. I walked through the wall and out into the world. Finally I was free, finally free. There was no more pain only freedom.
06/03/08
I was in a mirror wearing different and even baggier clothes. Not even my kind of colors, too bright. I easily found that the body was not my own nor were the actions I made, I looked the same but it was not who I am. I put a gun in my belt and walked outside into the bright… Californian sun? I walked down the street and greeted this particular group of people with somewhat of the same apparel, I guess I’m in a gang. A little kid ran outside of a house and she came up to me and gave me a fierce hug.
I had a huge smile on my face. But the smile slowly dissipated when I saw a car roll slowly around with people wearing the exact opposite colors I wear. They stuck their arms out with guns in their hands. They began to shoot, it sounded like thunder, it deafened me and I took cover from the hailing bullets. They completely missed me. When I looked up I saw that the ******** were driving away. Getting up and dusted myself off.
I looked down at the ground and saw the child riddled with bullets. I dropped to my knees and started crawling over to the child. I began to weep uncontrollably feeling the hot tears run down my face. Then again, this is someone else, not me. His story, his pain… Assuming if he even lives and not just a figment of my imagination
06/04/08
I laid on the ground in a dark place, I don’t know which was north, east, south, west. There wasn’t any distinguishing land features just blackness. I was alone again. I kept walking endlessly to god knows what destination there was, if any. Before me images floated from the ground. Many memories, many problems, and perhaps, just perhaps the future. Heh… The future, if only, right? I noticed that some of the images I’ve never seen before. Then I realized its everything. Everything I mean. They were starting to hurt my head. My mind. I couldn’t stand the sight of them. They were scratching they’re meaning inside my skull. Each time I closed my eyes I saw them written under my eye lids. I didn’t want to see anymore. With that I gouged out my eyes. The blood poured out in a stream. All I could do is laugh hysterical, as I drowned in my own madness.
06/05/08
I didn’t sleep. Not a wink. I was just thinking about the event that was going to take place the next day. And I did complete that event today. I am now empty….
 Langendorfer · Sat Jun 07, 2008 @ 04:35am · 0 Comments |
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