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Half way through the night I layed staring at the ceiling some time during through the hours of night I closed my eyes and fell asleep which gave birth to this dream/nightmare.
I woke up on a beach, the ocean was right in front of me but instead of an endless sea I saw mountains, snow covered, absolutely beautiful. With these images I figured that I'm back in Alaska. Only difference was, I was back to being a little kid, dinosaur shorts, donald duck t-shirt and all. The world was made of gum drops and lollipops then, innocence was the only thing that I've seen, back when things were supposedly "good". But as I took another look at the ocean I saw frantic splashing from another child caught in the ocean. I didn't know if it was a boy or a girl all I know was that it was a child from their high and shrill cries for help.
Anonymous child: Help! I can't swim!
Me: Hold on I'll help you!
Hero. Back then thats what a child wanted to be most, someone that could be thought of something higher, someone that could do the impossible. Yet with all super heroes they all had their weaknesses... Mine was quite evident.
Anonymous child: Hurry!
After I got knee deep within the water I was smacked with the realization of that I can't swim. That same water that shocked me soo horribly is now soo vivid within this dream. Cold... Freezing cold and dark, even in the summer it was ice cold, soo dark that it seemed like if the sun was submerge under it that no light would be shone. It would extinguished the sun and it also extinguishes hope.
Anonymous child: Hurry! I can't keep going any longer!
Me: I can't swim!
Anonymous child: Help! Please!
What else can a powerless child do? Nothing but do what the child in peril could do. I looked both ways, no one in sight. The sandy beach stretched both ways. I took one more step into the water and then started screaming my head off.
Me: Help! Somebody help! Help us! Please!
The mysterious child was starting to fade away from sight. Taking several gulps of air the childs last words were---
Anonymous child: *******!
The child knew my name, which meant I knew that child, I have failed someone that trusted me. Someone who believed that I was their answer to life, a friend, a brother, a messiah... I sunk to my knees, the water now reached to my chest as a child. Still freezing, still peirceing, and oh soo very dark. Within a split second I became my formal self today. No dinosaur shorts, no donald duck t-shirt, but instead black pants, white hoodie, and blood-stained steeled toed boots. I was standing now looking out at the ocean. With a twist that seemed soo unreal the tide receded only to turn into a devastating monolith of a wave that can be thought to devour all of the Earth. It crashed down upon me, inside the ocean I was spinning in all directions, not knowing what was up or what is down. A hand grabbed my shoulder, I took a look and the one grabbing my shoulder was bloated and dead. Soon many hands started grabbing me I looked all around and they were all dead. Their death was evident. Drowned. They continued to pull me down, deeper and deeper. Until I couldn't see a thing.
The end...
 Langendorfer · Thu Feb 21, 2008 @ 12:16am · 1 Comments |
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