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(Cast: Xemnas, Poochie [from “Garfield”], Roxas, Axel, Marluxia, Demyx, Saïx, Xaldin, Xigbar, Vexen, Luxord, Larxene, Zexion, Lexaeus)
(Author’s Note: Obey the title, don’t ask… sweatdrop This is supposed to take place soon after Roxas has joined the Organization. He’s already made friends with Axel, but he’s still learning who everyone is. This was mostly written as an exercise so I could finally learn all of their names.)
The World That Never Was; inside the castle, Xenmnas is secretly hiding in a corner hugging a teddy bear, calling it “Poochie.” Roxas happens to walk in and see. The boy pauses for a few seconds and sweat-drops. He then slowly backs out and returns to the room he was in before.
Axel: Hey! Buddy! (sees Roxas’ weirded out expression) What’s with you? You look like you’ve seen a ghost or something…
Roxas: …Um, why is Number One in there, (points at the room behind him) hugging a teddy bear?
Marluxia: Roxas, we have a golden rule about the Superior; don’t ask. Chances are, you don’t wanna know…
Demyx: He has some, unusual qualities that we’ve just learned to live with…
Roxas: (crosses arms) To be honest, the Superior’s not the only one I have concerns about…
Roxas looks over at Marluxia, who gets a look of bewilderment on his face.
Saïx: Well, the rule was made for the Superior, but over time, it came to apply to all members of the Organization… Which really kinda sux, cause (blushes) there are a few questions I’d like to ask about Larxene! heart She uses the rule as an excuse to keep to herself…
The guys all blush and drool, as they seem to be thinking naughty thoughts about the Organization’s one female member. Just then, Xemnas walks in, looking content; he then notices the other five standing in front of him, staring off into space.
Xemnas: (looks where they’re looking, then at them directly) What are you guys doing?
Roxas, Axel, Marluxia, Demyx and Saïx finally realize someone has seen them and instantly become embarrassed.
Demyx: Uh, we were, uh, star gazing! Yeah! That’s right!
The others nod their heads in agreement.
Xemnas: sweatdrop Don’t you, usually have to be outside in order to do that? Or at least in one of the rooms in the castle that has a glass ceiling?
Saïx: mrgreen We were practicing!
Xemnas: ………… (mumbles to himself) Don’t ask, just, just don’t ask. Just smile and nod, (follows his own instructions) smile and nod… (out loud) Anyway, whose turn is it to cook tonight?
Axel: (raises arm and points at nose) That would be mine! heart heart heart
The others (except Roxas) sweat-drop as they picture the charcoal they had to eat last time Axel cooked. Roxas has a clueless expression on his face.
Demyx: …Who wants take-out?
Marluxia: Aye!
Xemnas: Aye!
Saïx: Aye!
Roxas: …???
Axel: cry crying Why do you all hate my cooking so much?!
Marluxia: Because you always turn it into coal! scream
Axel gets on his knees and grabs onto Roxas’ arm.
Axel: Roxas! Buddy! Pal! You’ll eat my cooking, won’t you? gonk
Roxas: sweatdrop (scratching next to his lip with his free hand) …Um, well, uh…
Axel falls to the ground and starts sobbing, clinging to Roxas’ feet as the other four leave. As soon as the others are gone, Axel jumps up, acting as if nothing had happened.
Axel: Anyway, what is it that you find so disturbing about Marluxia? Other than the obvious…
Axel pictures Marluxia’s pink scythe and flamboyant personality. (click here for pic)
Roxas: Remember those panties I found in my room when I first moved in?
Axel nods.
Roxas: Well, I found out they weren’t Larxene’s…
Axel: sweatdrop sweatdrop And you think they’re…?
Roxas: I’ve narrowed it down to either Marluxia or Xigbar…
Axel: What about Saïx? I’d suspect Saïx…
Roxas: sweatdrop I thought so too until earlier when I saw Larxene screaming and chucking a pair of his boxers at him…
Axel: sweatdrop sweatdrop sweatdrop …Anyway, I’ll be in the kitchen if anyone needs me…
At that moment, a figure runs in and glomps Axel. The figure then turns out to be Xaldin, face red and holding a bottle of saké.
Xaldin: Hey, h-hey, guys! (wraps one arm wound Axel’s neck and the other around Roxas’) Wwwwooooonderful day we’re having, (hiccuping) is-is-is ain’t it? blaugh cheese_whine
Axel: sweatdrop Oh, crap… You’ve been hittin’ the saké again, haven’t you…?
Xaldin: mrgreen Yep!
Xaldin then looks over at Roxas and notices something pink in his pocket. Before Roxas even notices, Xaldin pulls it out. It is a pair of girl’s panties made of pink silk with a small, satin bow in the front and lace trim.
Xaldin: H-hey! (runs off in the direction he came from) Xigbar! I found your panties!
Xigbar (who also appears to be somewhat drunk) turns to Xaldin and glares as Roxas and Axel both sweat-drop with an expression of perpetual doom.
Axel: (turns to Roxas) I’m not sure whether to be more shocked that they’re Xigbar’s, or the fact that they were in your pocket!
Vexen: (is suddenly behind the two) Actually, the thing I find most disturbing is that Xaldin knew they were Xigbar’s…
Axel: burning_eyes (gags) Good point…!
Roxas: eek (jumps away from Vexen) Gah! Where’d you come from?!
Vexen: scream Hey! Respect your elders!
Roxas: (ignores Vexen) …Anyway, about the panties being in my pocket… I couldn’t keep them in my room, I’m starting to suspect Luxord’s a Klepto…
Axel: Well…
Vexen: We know he’s compulsive gambler…
Luxord then comes running in holding two big bags of Munny.
Luxord: Hey! I won big at the races today! (stops in front of Vexen, Axel and Roxas) So, uh, who’s cooking tonight?
Axel: (points at nose, less enthusiastic than last time) I am.
Vexen can be seen sneaking away, sweat dropping.
Vexen: Axel’s cooking is one experiment I never want to get my hands on…
Axel: (scoffs) And you yell at us about respect! IT’S A TWO-WAY STREET, a*****e!! scream scream scream
Meanwhile, Luxord had been staring at Axel and had just turned away.
Luxord: (holds up Munny) …Hey! I’ll pitch in for take-out!
Axel looks like he’s going to cry again as Xenmas comes up and yanks the bags out of Luxord’s hands.
Xemnas: We’ll take a nominal fee to pay for dinner, but the rest is going into the safe to replace what you lost last week!
Luxord then joins Axel in crying while Roxas can be seen slowly moving towards his room. The boy is about to make his getaway when Xemnas stops him.
Xemnas: smile Hey! You’re the new guy, right? The Keyboy.
Roxas: sweatdrop (under breath) Heh, darn… Almost got away… (out loud, nods) Y-yes, sir…
Xemnas: (wraps arm around Roxas’ neck) Have we had a welcome party for you?
Roxas: (shakes head) …No, sir…
Xemnas: (quietly) There’s no need to be so formal. (out loud) Well, we’re ordering take-out, why not make a party out of it?
At this time, it seems that Axel and Luxord are finished crying and stand. They, Roxas and Xemnas then sweat-drop as Xaldin is then seen waving two empty bottles of saké in the air as he runs up to the four.
Xaldin: cheese_whine cheese_whine BOOZE!!! Booze, booze. There’s gonna be booze, right? cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine
Xigbar: (shoots Xaldin in the butt) …I think that’s enough for you tonight… (under breath) Man! Why can’t I ever enjoy a drink without him chugging half the bottle down…?!
Larxene: stressed stressed stressed (comes storming in) Can’t a girl get her beauty sleep around here?! (under breath) sweatdrop Man, this place reeks of testosterone…
Behind Larxene, Zexion walks up.
Zexion: (smirking) 3nodding Larxene, did you forget to take your Midol again?
Larxene turns sharply towards Zexion, nerves popping as everyone else (except Roxas) quickly retreats out of the room. Larxene then chucks her little knife things at Zexion, who dodges them. He then walks past Larxene and approaches Roxas.
Larxene: Hey! Where do you think you’re-
Larxene goes to attack Zexion again when Xemnas grabs her by the collar and pulls her out of the room. Xigbar is seen following them, carrying a bag labeled “Larxene’s Meds.”
Zexion: (to Roxas) Hey! New guy! Do you like music?
Roxas: A little… Why?
Zexion: mrgreen Would you like to be in a band?
Roxas: sweatdrop …Uh, sure…
Zexion: (grabs Roxas’ arm and starts dragging him off in the direction he came from) He said yes! Now we can officially be a boy band!
Roxas: Huh? What’re you talking about?
Zexion: (stops, turns to Roxas) Oh… Well, you see, when Demyx joined the Organization, he got the idea to write a theme song for us. And from that, we sort of formed a band.
Roxas: What kind of band? Who’s in it?
Zexion: Pop/Rock. Um, it’s myself, Demyx, Marluxia, Saïx, and well, now you.
Roxas: If you wanted to be a boy band, why didn’t you ask Axel?
Zexion: We did. sweatdrop He turned us down to pursue a culinary career… biggrin But, now we’ve got you, so it’s a-okay!
Roxas: (starting to sound more interested) So, what’s this band called?
Zexion: Nexueq.
Roxas: sweatdrop That’s, interesting… Where’d you come up with a name like that?!
Zexion: Special request from the Superior, he used the name of his favorite band…
Roxas: So the name’s taken from Queen.
Lexaeus: (walks up) Wow, we got a smart one here. I’m one for puzzles and that one took me two days to figure out.
Zexion: That’s because you know nothing about music. It took me two minutes. Demyx took about forty-five seconds, but now Roxas holds the record at thirty seconds! You must like music more than you let on…
Roxas: That and I heard “Bohemian Rhapsody” coming from the direction of the Superior’s room last night… And this morning I heard him humming “Killer Queen”…
Zexion and Lexaeus sweat-drop.
Kiriko: (walks onto stage, bows) A few minutes later, they had a voice test for Roxas. Everyone cringed as he turned out to be a terrible singer. Everyone that is, except Demyx; he figured that if they let artists like Macy Grey, Brittany Spears and N*Sync on the air, they’d let people like Jesse Mc-I mean Roxas, on there too. Thank you.
 KirikoKid · Tue Feb 27, 2007 @ 03:51pm · 0 Comments |
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